starmozie

Another wonderfull sunrise has gone by.Good morning and how are you.Tried to fly the other day,and pulled an Icarus burned and crashed.Time to be a Phenix and rise from the ashes.I`m starting to get confused,(good thing),about the date game in the computer age.It`s been 17 years since I tryied to go out on my own.Nothing like I remember.everyone seems in such a hurry.Why can`t they slow down and enjoy life.It`s not a race no ones going to win.Have a wonderfull morning,and a good day.Raymond. Reply

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Contentment Sent Date: 5/14/2008 8:47:00 PM

Happy, content,warm all over.It`s an odd but comfortable feeling.Thanks from the roots of my shaved head to the soles of my feet.I hope you take tomarrow in the spellbinding way it comes.Sleep well,and be happy.Ray. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Contentment Sent Date: 5/14/2008 8:30:34 PM

im glad i make you happy

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Contentment Sent Date: 5/14/2008 6:49:34 PM

Why is it that the shortest messages seem to mean the most.I was not expecting a response to my last message but you did.Would you be able to shed some light on why your shortest seem to mean more to me than when someone else writes more.The three words you wrote were nothing words ,but gave such a warm feeling.How is it when someone is polite to me I start to cry?Maby it`s just the time of year.Thank anyway.Ray Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Photos Sent Date: 5/14/2008 8:02:11 AM

as are you

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Photos Sent Date: 5/13/2008 6:24:01 AM

I like your new searies of photos.You should try a smile from time to time to.You are well thought of. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Rebirth. Sent Date: 5/12/2008 11:03:05 PM

you are such a beautiful soul . Some may not see your light. it is there it is growing brighter everyday. spread your wings and you will be free. and the world will see your light

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Rebirth. Sent Date: 5/12/2008 8:05:48 PM

Worst day of my life ,my girlfreind told me she was seeking comfort elsewhere.Best day I have realize was groing with each cosecutive day.Sun still rises and sets.world moves on or passes you by.I`m starting to run with the world again.Just a mater of time till I can fly.(figuritively not for real.)Reality will keep my feet firmly on the ground. `s will soar again,brocken wings will heal stong and true. Ray. Reply

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: OOPs Sent Date: 5/8/2008 7:26:52 AM

Hope I didn`t insult "her".Didn`t look that close.Thank you for the hope that comes with a new day.I work nights,so if there is a sunset or sunrise I get to see thier splender,The world speeds on it`s course .We the truly insignificant pests that plunder her bounty Have the gaul to think were more important than she.May the sun be forever at your shoulder and never blind you,but guide saftly on your way.Ray. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Reaspect. Sent Date: 5/8/2008 7:04:00 AM

that is my girl vigilant, vig. isnt she beautiful? have a good day, ray of hope

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Reaspect. Sent Date: 5/8/2008 6:58:45 AM

You are to gracious.It`s not for your Better mind,It`s for mine.When I forget to return a politness for no other reason than what I see as lack of thought.I will have forgoten the needs of others,My needs should not be the only ones occupying my mind.I need to give the same care to others that they give me.Recent events have left me very shaken.It is no reason to forget to respond to someone who took and gave of there valuable time to me.You deserve at least the same consideration.You have no idea what your words have ment to me.Mear ink stains on a parcment can bring untold comfort to those in need.Thank you at least for that.Have a sunny day even in the rain.PS.Whos the big fellow besides you?Ray Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Wonderfull day. Sent Date: 5/7/2008 9:26:04 PM

goodnes i didnt even notice. i do not do things because i expect a return.

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From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Wonderfull day. Sent Date: 5/7/2008 9:34:31 AM

THANK YOU .For wishing me a wonderfull day.I did not realize I hadn`t wished one back.I feel like such a cad.A thing so easily done, forgoten Because of such a kind jester on your part.I can naver make that up to you.No excuse for bad manners.I will not ask forgiveness,I don`t deserve it.You came into my life by chance and I feel I`ve somehow betrade you because of my lake of thoughtfullness.I can only hope you don`t take the light you`ve cast upon me away.Again a careless oversight on my part.It being more than to late already.Have your self a good day aswell.Enjoy your life,be well.withall you do. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE;alive (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 5/6/2008 7:29:22 AM

have a wonderful day

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: RE;alive (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 5/6/2008 6:57:23 AM

TallRay has used some points and bought you this gift!!!.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I look at my girls and feel alive through them.I read your letters It gives me hope for the restless periods,and maby the future as well.Who ever you find to pick up your spirits,and help you move on in this world,had better know what kind of treasure he`ll be blessed with.I to your compation .Your abillity to help soften the hurt in others when you yourself have been denided your happyness.You did make me smile.Who would have thought the word "wow"could mean make such an impression when used as just an expression. Your words bring me comfort when I`m alone with time to think.Perhaps you are a fallen I`m sorry you had to be harmed so you could print words that would bring me comfort,and contentment.You diserve the happyness you shurly bring to others.It seems I want to see what the new day brings after all."Life "Thank you. an admirer Ray. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE;Heart? Sent Date: 5/5/2008 9:25:17 PM

wow. that makes me feel better. i too feel that way. i hope i csn continue to make you happy. i hope that one day you will wake up and smile and be happy just beacause you ARE ALIVE

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: RE;Heart? Sent Date: 5/5/2008 6:58:33 PM

Don`t know if I have much of one left.I know it`s there when I`m with my daughters.Don`t feel it much when I look at the rest of the world.Maby I`m trying to protect myself.I feel better when I read your words.Even the one sentence messages.Thanks by the way.It`s funny how prople can gst a pick me up from a stangers words.Maby kindred spirits,Maby something else.I know my chest feels lighter whenI read you words.Feels like when I`m with my girls. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Inspiration? Sent Date: 5/5/2008 2:58:57 PM

it lies in the heart

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Inspiration? Sent Date: 5/5/2008 8:20:42 AM

Or coffee,one day.I don`t inspire.I think it`s been laying dormant inside of you.Tradgedy is what inspires.Why are we made to suffer to really see the world.It`s not all wonderfull,not all roses,never what we want.Thoughs who want will always be searcing,never satisfied.In the end I think they may finaly realize realize It`s what we keep in our hearts that we hold most dear.Not material things.I`m going to quote Yoda from Star Wars."Luminous beings are we, not this crewed mater."Sorry I`m tied and my spelling S___. Been working late again. Easier to keep going if i`m doing aomething constuctive.Not much of a hero here.Asperations to be one,one day.Allways will be in the eyes of my childeren.Have to work on my self worth a little bit.Know idea where all this came from Wasn`t expecting to be so sappy.Who knows where inspiration lies Ray Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Lifes for heros. Sent Date: 5/5/2008 7:56:01 AM

not really. you inspire me

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Lifes for heros. Sent Date: 5/5/2008 1:00:44 AM

Not one stand of blonde on you.(poor joke)Your all sage. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:HEROS. Sent Date: 5/4/2008 11:09:09 PM

i believe we all have the capacity to be heroes. i believe we all are heroes everyday. everytime we wake up and have to face another day, when we give up our seat on the bus, or let the guy behind us with just one item ahead of us in the ;line. being a hero is not nccessaily doing huge things, it can be the littlest things that make us the biggest heroes

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: RE:HEROS. Sent Date: 5/4/2008 10:57:46 PM

Beter to be hurt trying;succeding/failing/falling to earth than not try, and fail compleatly.A hero will always be a hero,doesn`t think of himself only the greater good.That`s why he/she always walks of into the sunset. Life goes on. the heros reward for him/herself,a better sense of self,that only he/she knows.Thats all he/she needs.Regardless the injuries ,and pain.He/she wears this with pride and stands tall. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:tragic heros. Sent Date: 5/4/2008 9:45:03 PM

you are right of course you do get hurt, but in the end i would still rather be hurt and knowing i helped somone. knowing that through my actions, another human being is having a better life. or even a better moment.

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: tragic heros. Sent Date: 5/4/2008 2:29:24 AM

I like that. Not that it`s a happy subject,but heros lose sometimes .Like the poor guys/girls who`ll get covered in mud pushing people out of the ditch,and no thanks from anyone.Or the guy /girl who breaks an arm ,or gets burned saving people from a fire.They get looked at as more victums. of whatever tragidy they were involved in.True heros do exist and usually end up hurt.Almost everyone thinks heros don`t get hurt.If you take chances like that you`r going to get hurt sooner or later.P.S.Have you tought more of your writen french accent. Ray Reply

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Accent. Sent Date: 4/30/2008 8:10:10 AM

My relationship was 17 years but one sided,I guess you could say Id rather live in the devils house to be near my girls.Thats not realy fair to my ex.she is a good mother .She just wants what everyone else has.She`ll never be happy like that.Money can`t buy you love .is a very poiniant song.Have a good day . Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Horse of a diferent color. Sent Date: 4/30/2008 6:54:16 AM

no not really into the fitness thing that much. i am slowly getting backi in shape. im am just into having fun.I try to write as much as possible. right now it is sporadic because like everything else for me it is new. I am a brand new soul in a sense /. I was in a mentally abusive relationship for 18 years and i didnt write a word. Since i left, with the clothes on my back and my two kids, i feel alive again, Every day is a new adventure. One day i picked up a pen and started writing. Now i cant stop. I write a lot of letters, especially to a couple of friends on here.I am venting a lot through my fingertips. i am also gathering up all my stories ansd am working on a story or two. i just takk every day as it comes. mar I am french by birth but was raised in an english family. Write with an accent. interesting observati0on. i will hav eot think about that one.

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Horse of a diferent color. Sent Date: 4/30/2008 6:42:27 AM

A lady should always know how to defend herself I`m from British Columbia.Never was to much into the horse riding.Just watched .At my size the horses aren`t always acomidating.I think I`d rather spar with you than get kicked by another horse. I know were Sutten is now,no it`s not far ,just the other side of the river,and a couple of towns down the road.Not far at all.If you box does that mean you realy into the fitness thing?I`m slowly geting back into it.I can`t run much ,messed up my nees in the military.I`m into playing golf ,it`s a good walk,and nice sceanery. Thanks for the note Its a nice pick me up. I wish you`d right more though.Are you frankaphone by chance.You seem to right with an accent. Hope to hear from you more often.Ray. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Just wondering. Sent Date: 4/29/2008 9:53:45 PM

hi. yes i do have pink boxing gloves. i pack quite a punch, acyually right now i am into horseback riding. Sutton is really not that far away.mar

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Just wondering. Sent Date: 4/29/2008 11:20:36 AM

Do you really have pink boxing gloves?Do you use them?If so how good at it, are you?I`mHanging around doing nothing.I also found were Sutton is!It`s not far from Garnby ,I`ll catch you later. To get you through the day. Reply

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Talk Sent Date: 4/28/2008 8:23:14 PM

Glad to be of help.I do want to see a picture of you with a smile.Your eyes Don`t share it yet.I`m home most days 8 am untile,4 30.pm I work nights. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:just to talk. Sent Date: 4/28/2008 7:45:02 PM

no i will not deletye. i wpould like to talk.

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: just to talk. Sent Date: 4/28/2008 11:53:01 AM

I forgot,Got caught up in whimsy.If you want to reach me I`m at (raysmi@live.ca)No pressure deleate if you want.Raymond Reply

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Friends are good to have. Sent Date: 4/28/2008 11:42:30 AM

Thats all I`m looking for right now.I;d love to read more of your thoughts.There eye openers.I donn`t even know where Sutten is on the map.I`ll have to check.I`ll try not to be to pushy.Except when your down.I don`t know your story ,But he must have been a real #######.You should try to look to the next golden sunrise,and be able to see a bright future,with some who`ll be there to help carry you along when you need it.Remember the footprints in the sand.Your never truly alone,and there is allways someone to give a hand.If you have a old picture of you with a smile,look at it and remember who you are.Thats what I do also it helps. to eyes. Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Anytime you want a smile . Sent Date: 4/28/2008 10:32:08 AM

ok. i am glad you are not fishing me. we can be friends. have a good day

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Anytime you want a smile . Sent Date: 4/28/2008 9:50:22 AM

Just take my picture put it next to a gargoil,And it will seem the gargoil`s smilling at you. If you ever need a pickme up i`ll try to oblige, I`m not you I don`t thin ,we`d be to sad together.Hears a hug to get your morning started on a more solid footing,and Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:Shooting star more like it. Sent Date: 4/28/2008 9:32:53 AM

thank you. I needed that today.

From: TallRay (View Profile) Subject: Shooting star more like it. Sent Date: 4/28/2008 9:16:08 AM

I like the way you write!tragic but very powerful.Wouldn`t want to leave you brocken on the ground. I`m not much at writing,but I know what I like . Your Perfect manwas not a ,It was an eye opener.You have pretty eyes but they see the world in a whole new light.Don`t Burn to bright to long,Your type are soarly needed in this modenized world.People just don`t know it yet.

internet not working? blocked me? got back together with your fat montreal cyber girlfriend? or another one? you always check your mail. whats up? i know. you were kidnapped by aliens on your way back from knowlton today.I would like to use you for your computer tommorrow if i can i have to print an application for maelle for summer camp. i think she might get to go for free because we are poor. yay for poverty! I still havent gotten that coffe yet. and you havent gotten that blowjob.

i know we shouldnt discuss it, but its kind of important. and i need to talk to you about all this crap with mario. i need your opinion. did you get my email on your sympatico account?i thought it was funny. the photo i mean, not the letter. that was serious. and heartfelt. well if your not in the arms of some cyber slut, or regular one,call me, please. and dont be alarmed at the poem i wrote . it was inspired by my email the other day but that is it. its in thev forums. also on my profile, and writers cafe. org. starmozie hope you had a great day. luv mar

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:I ttried calling you Sent Date: 5/14/2008 11:09:49 AM

hi again. i guess you didint see me this morning whaen i was waiting for the mail. have a good day. im off at 8. you can come by if you want(yeah right). or whatever. off tomorrow and friday if you want to get together. call me later if you want. mar

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:I ttried calling you Sent Date: 5/14/2008 6:09:33 AM

coffee? dont work till 1130 today.off tomorrow.want company tonight? open mike at the moccador, but im not ready. iwas thinking.. we should get some stuff together and go to knowlton. just walk in, not talk to anyone, do our set and then walk out. give them something to talk about.would be funny. maybe that would make your penis work. if you even want it to with me.

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:I ttried calling you Sent Date: 5/13/2008 7:47:22 PM

dont start or you wont get that blowjob.

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: I ttried calling you Sent Date: 5/13/2008 10:51:02 AM

Y didn't call me back...what is wrong with you? Reply

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:RE:thanks Sent Date: 5/13/2008 8:27:54 AM

ok...that sound nice! Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: zv Sent Date: 5/12/2008 9:36:56 AM

ok i just really needed your opinion about some things yesterday. i dont get why you think its ok to not keep your word with me. whatever. i just have to figure out why i am always attrackted to people who arent interested in me. i think i am afraid to actually have a real relationship with someone who will actually want to get to know me. someone who is ok with the fact that i am not comfotable with sex.weel its not that so much as the fact that ive noticed that when you first meet someone and the chemistry is hot, its great. for a while. then after a bit, reality sets in. the makeup comes off. we are not into sex so much anymore. sorry but its true. i think that it is our way as females to get a man interested in i getting to know us, in overlooking any flaws we might have that will eventually hinder the relationship. when the sex stops, the relationship goes downhill. cause we bond through sex. if sex doesnt happen how can we bond? i am trying to do things the old fashioned way. when you get to know a person first. what a concept, when guys just want to get laid.. lets face it at 46 you should still be getting hard at the mere thought of it. i think you have a problem.You are vert intuitive but its more than that.All the crap you carry from past relationships that never worked out. I think you are afraid to be in a real relationship. you are still looking for that fantasy. You need a reality check, love.not from me, cause im not interested anymore , but ihope you outgrow it before you are to old and lonely when you look around there will be nobody there. or you will be surrounded by young things that have no substance. in the end you are just a man. maybe you are not ready , maybe you are afraid. maybe you are a hopeless romantic looking for that spark, that girl that makes your heart skip a beat. yeah me too. I think sometimes it would just be easier to settle. ****ed up, isnt it? maybe i think that i dont desrewve that kind of love. I need to be hugged and listened to and maybe one day i will find someone to love me completerly and just as i am. someone who is willing to get to know me first, I dont know why guys arent willing to do that You should, because otherwise a few months down the road, your 30 year old will start to wonder what she is doing with you. and will probably end up dumping your middle aged beer drinking, cant get hard at the drop of a hat ass. I have come to understand that people are put togsther for a reason. its not always the reason we think. the goddess has her own agenda. we are players in the game but she made up the rules. We dont always understand . but we deal. not always happily, but we deal. we love we learn. we cry our hearts fill with joy. we are at peace and we are at war. we simply are.

sorry i though you were being sincere about friends. im sorry. i probably seem like a stalker. sh*tive been found out, time to move again. i was looking at the emploi quebec web site and i am pissed off. there is nothing. i guess i havwe to get off my lazy cute ass andknock on doors. my friend johnny said thathe would check for me. i hope he does he is such a sweetheart. I felt so good when i walked into thePUB THE OTHER DAY AND all the old gang was there. lots of hugs and where have you beens. and when are you going to sing with us? it was comforting. i didnt know how they would react seeing me out and about again. after all i have been out of ciculation for 2 years. john figured it to be closer to three, but whatever. chris wants me to sing with him too, but i have trouble with him he is kind of an idiot.. you know him. we flirted outrageously . actuallyit was fun. i really need to find a job soon. i cant continue this way i wouldnt mind getting a job in a bar after all i did work in a lot of clubs in montreal before. i dont need to mention the facr that in between drinks i was daNCING, DO i? on stage, OH YEAH I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT. FUNNY. GOOD STORIES IF WE EVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN. +

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: nklj Sent Date: 5/12/2008 8:29:06 AM

idiot

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:thanks Sent Date: 5/12/2008 8:25:41 AM

i didnt say it was your fault. i meant people like you who treat their so called friends like that. i have integrity and if i say im going to call someone i call them. i dont talk just to hear my voice like some people do. You are like the only guy friend i have areound here and i need your poinion about stuff sometimes. its frustrating when you do that. do i need to give you a blow job in order for you yo see me?

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:thanks Sent Date: 5/12/2008 8:11:04 AM

I don't recall saying I was coming over...but i am glad I am keeping up with my aweful reputation...I'm glad I'm an ***hole without even knowing it. I'm glad it is my fault you are single...I'm just glad!!!

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Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: thanks Sent Date: 5/11/2008 11:28:41 PM

thanks for standing me up AGAIN thanks for reminding me why i choose to stay single thanks for being a son of a **** thanks for confirming what everyone i know said about you thanks again for affirming that i am a really bad judge of character thanks your a prince among men

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: fj Sent Date: 5/11/2008 9:11:43 PM

you getting lots of mail? and still nothing? i dont believe it. you are either lying or for some reason you are attracting only duds. . good luck.

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: e56705 Sent Date: 5/9/2008 10:52:32 AM

ok you were right. there are some not bad. but either they are way ugly, or fat or way out of your league. luv ya mar

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: poor you Sent Date: 5/9/2008 10:05:31 AM

hi. did you get my message? wow. poor thing. yo im sure it is not just me. but i checked women from 30 to 45 and man, was i surprised. and the cute ones, well they all have old pics up!i can tell. you have to look at 20 year olds to find someone cute. wow. too bad you cant have a relationship with a 20 year old. hmmphh. well good for the ego. and all the men are the same. gee how ****ed up is that. we are a couple of sad sacks, arent we? and dumb too. both of us. i meet guys and they are ok but, they are too straight. they are all into golf and shit. its not easy being a 45 year old who thinks like a 25 year old.hey you know what i mean you are the same way. are their any other people like us around? i mean people our age.there are pleny of people like us that are younger. like really younger. i dont know . ****ed up. we are ****ed up. i need a tummy tuck then i can pass myself off as a 25 year old. noone has to know, right? have a good one. call me when you can. luv mar

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:mdmdm Sent Date: 5/8/2008 8:10:28 PM

you know if you cant have a good fight then whats the point of being friends anyway.we all need to have a good fight every now and again. . sh*tmy anger is draing as i write. damn therapy. now i am going to be sad. great ya ****ing hoo. i just wanted to know how you were doing. what are you pissed about?

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:mdmdm Sent Date: 5/8/2008 7:56:56 PM

lwhy are you so pissed at me?what the hell did i do anyway? and dont you think we should be fight5ing face to face instead of online? at least then i know what we are fighting about.nice deleting my messages. you knew thAT would hurt. good coup. oh this is going to be good. i am coming over tommorrow and we are going to have a proper fight. maybe we will fin ally resolve some issues. idiot

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:mdmdm Sent Date: 5/8/2008 7:41:46 PM

ooh.. our first real fight. how exciting!

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:mdmdm Sent Date: 5/8/2008 12:30:16 PM

I did call your son said you were not home

That is my ****ing problem Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: mdmdm Sent Date: 5/8/2008 10:34:37 AM

are you going to call me? what the **** is your problem anyway?

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: llllllllllllllll Sent Date: 5/8/2008 8:29:16 AM

chicken shit BOO: hug: YOU SHOULDNT ASK FOR THINGS AND THEN WHEN THE UNIVERSE GIVES YOU THE GIFT YOU ASKED FOR you are confused wondering why ,asking questions seeking problems when you should just say thank you and enjoy the gift that you received ask too many questios try to find fault with your gift the gods will not give again.

you were blessed with a gift enjoy it while it is still there

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: looks Sent Date: 5/8/2008 6:54:25 AM

ok. i am conviced. nobody on this sight looks like their pictures. except me why is that?

stupid man.

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: ef Sent Date: 5/8/2008 6:51:48 AM

it is so hard to get together these days. i wonder if the gods are annoyed with us...... i dont know what youve been up to, besides taking care of mom and planting stuff...

........

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:RE:i'm not home Sent Date: 5/6/2008 11:36:36 AM

ok whatever. i give up. when you want to see me, call me. i will want to go dancing on friday and get drunk and no more garbage, no more heavy conversations. i said what i have to say to you. .be cool and have fun. that is my motto for the summer. lets have some fun.all that other crap will be left for my other cyber friends who just cant get enough. I know you wont, but if you couyld come over today that would be cool. if you want to go out this weekend, no pressure, just fun that would be cool too.. man you are one messed up dude. im glad to know you. and i hear cyalis works good too. drunken bum...luv,mar

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:RE:i'm not home (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 5/5/2008 11:31:09 PM

starmozie has used some points and bought you this gift!!!.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wow. hard day? i hope its not me.is your mom ok?are you ok? canyou call me when you get back? you are not supposed to read my letters like that.i am just spewing. are you pissed at me? or am i making myself way more important than i should. now i am worried about you. i should just shut up.

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:i'm not home Sent Date: 5/5/2008 11:19:28 PM

I'll be at ui tomorrow to find out how it works and not to get depreesssedd for not working. I'm not in a mood rith now and am going to bed.

bye Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:i'm not home Sent Date: 5/5/2008 11:08:11 PM

ok i didnt mean we were lauhging about that all day. just being very giggly. mostly mking jokes about the train graffiti in front of booms. itsays i want a rock. get it? maybe you have to be there. very funny. very french. anyways i am being very silly today. i need your truck tomorrow if we are still on speaking terms. we should spend the day together and chat .. its going to be nice. my brook is calling us..... if you want you can come laugh at me at robinsons and watch me ride. thatl give you reason to stay away from me.if you dont call me, i will have to come over and kill you, Lunch on me ,ok? i had a great day today. cant wait to tell you all the wonderful things that happened and that i made happen. i know i said i wasnt going on this sight anymore and i am making it very clear that i am staying away from the whole relationship thing with these guys, but everyday i am getting new mail from guys who just want me to talk to them.it seems that my words inspire . too bad i cant inspire the men i want to.too bad i cant make anyone love me with just my words. or can I? I know there are people on here who wake up and wait for the words that i send to inspire their day. some of them are heartbroken. i think i am helping them to heal. i hope my words inspire. i hopethat one day they will wake up and look in the mirror and be happy just because they are. noone needs a woman or a man to be happy. we all go through life looking for the person who will change ouf lives and make us feel better about ourselves . why do you go on here everyday? what are you looking for? who do you think you will meet? why cant you just be happy with yurself and your life ? why are we always looking for someone else to make us complete? why do we not realize that we will never find love untill we are complete in ourselves? Untill we have destroyed all our own demons? only then will our light shine . only then will we find what we seek. only then will we be able to love.i am lucky to be able to love. i am a blessed soul. we all are, we just dont always realise. some people meet me and they see the goddess in me and they are inspired to seek their own . Some people,feel the goddess in me and are afraid. a few will want to see more, but most will turn away, afraid of the truth that they will see when they look through me into their own souls. i am glad that you did not turn away yet.even if you try, you are still around, curious ,but cautious,afraid, but intrigued. i will not dissapoint you. you will see if you look . with your heart and soul. you will be able to see your own demons, and destroy them and you will rise from the darkness and you will be free. and i will be there, watching. and my soul will rejoice with yuors as you brush off the dirt and take your first tentative steps toward becoming and my heart will leap and i will be happy knowing that you are discovering the true you. and i will be there when the road ends and i will watch as you walk away ....

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:i'm not home Sent Date: 5/5/2008 6:44:28 PM

oops. well ill still give you a blow job. cover my head tie me up, oh, sorry. we shouldnt go there. just thought id make you laugh. i still need you tomorrow.so what, your mom doesnt have a phone?i hope you dont take cats message too seriously, although it was funny. we have been laughing all day. too bad i couldnt share it with you. when are you coming back from your moms?

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: kdf Sent Date: 5/5/2008 6:38:06 PM

ok. will you please call me? I am off tommorrw.and wednesday i am going to montreal to meet a few friends for a few things. ( yes i willl be a good girl, i told you i cant do the sex thing anyway right now.) movie and coffee and guess who i got back in touch with? youll have to CALLto find out. And mario is giving me ultimatums about that if i dont go over to his house he will back cindy up and say that i attacked her. where the **** are you? now is not the time to be an ass.i need to talk to you. you need to get laid? fine ill give you a nice blowjob. when i see you. close your eyes and pretend its one of you sluts from this sight. jeez. really.

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: i'm not home Sent Date: 5/5/2008 6:25:40 PM

I m at my mothers' Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: jhlsdhi Sent Date: 5/5/2008 8:00:19 AM

call me

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: hi you Sent Date: 5/3/2008 10:27:21 PM

i am taking a break from this stupid sight. i need to reflect on what is important in my life. i have so many things to work on. i still cant get over how intuitive you are. when you said you didint know why it was not happening for you and i wanted to scream i do! I know because i am not ready for this.And you knew it. I still feel unworthy of it and i am making it impossible for it to work. im so sorry. its not you. its me. I freeze up inside and i tried to force it tried to fake it but you knew, damn you.and you acted accordingly. or rather didnt act. i need to be held and taken care of and loved but i cant handle the sex thing right now. it freaks me out and i dont know how to deal with that. with most guys it wouldnt matter. they wouldnt notice but you did. i told you we were connected, i didnt realise how much untill the other day. you were just reacting to my fear of intimacy. i should have talked to you instead of faking but i was afraid of how you would react. and all that happened was that i confised you and i ended up in the very position that i was afraid of. i guess i need a man who is willing to go slow and give me the time i need to heal.it is not easy to do that i know. I tried to pretend it wasnt there, tried to suppress my fear by being wild and it backfired on me because you knew. you felt it and that scared the sh*tout of me.usually guys just go for it they dont feel things like that. you are such a good man. you have things to work on, but i was right about your light. i dont deserve that kind of light.I am too ****ed up right now and i am so sorry i didnt talk to you., wasnt honest with you, even as i watched your confusionwondering why it wasnt happening. I knew and still i said nothing. and in the end, i got what i sought. A wonderful man who wont love mw because i am so messed up. i cant speak honestly and i deliberately sabotage relationships that could be amazing and you deserve better than that.better than me. i really was good with us just being friends. i neede that more than a lover. too bad you dont have the patience to let me heal. too bad you cant accept what i need from you. so the sun sets on another chapter in the life of marla,another tragic poem,,another tale of woe. when will it end? when will the pain turn to joy and that tiny beam of light shine through the darkness, the sorrow that covers me suffocating , suppressing my fire, my light. . as i walk through the darkness waiting for those first pale rays of light to open up my heart and let love back in. i am waiting. i need my friend. remember when i told you that you reminded me of my best friend? You do. you are. why do you keep insisting on us being lovers when all i want from you is to be your friend? i cant handle loving you. you mean too much to me. i hope you will be ready soon to be what i need you to be.i am anxious to be able to just hang and lagh and have fun but i think you are too into me. i dont understand, but hey. i alays said i couldnt figure you out. too bad that you cant just love me and let me heal and not have to always worry about sex. so much pressure, so little time,You really cant handle pressuere at all can you? too bad you cant let me in, cant let me just be there for you. call me please when you are able to. when you are able to figure things out and when you understand what we need from each other. Once a person is in my heart, they are there forever, our souls need to be together, just maybe not like that. i need a best guy friend again. i need you. lets forget the past and move on. the future is ahead of us and we dont know what is in store for us,lets discover together, as friends

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: fgh Sent Date: 5/3/2008 7:49:42 AM

have a good day. i sent you a letter. I dont know what to say. You are seriously messed up. probably why i fell for you. I hope you figure outyour life. I hope you solve your problem. anyway white bread sex would never work with us anyway. I hope that we can be friends and i would love to see you get your sh*ttogether and grow up. . spend the summer working on you. you dont need a girlfriend right now. i dont need a boyfriend, it is not the right time for that for either of us. its funny how our subconcious knows stuff that we dont, isnt it?try not to reflect too hard on what happpened. our souls know what they are doing. if they want to be together we will be. when it is time. when we are ready. not now. it would be too much. I need to work on myself and my family.love would interfere with that and it is too important. I need to take one day at a time as do you and fix myself. lets keep in touch. i dont want to lose contact with you. i dont think it is finished with us. I just think that for now, this is what has to be. you need to do a lot of searching it may hurt, but you have tolet it out. if you have a chance, read my letter.reflect on what you have to work on and i will be around.not waiting.

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: help Sent Date: 4/30/2008 11:57:40 PM

ok i just sent you a message and it doesnt show, If you get it, great. I mighthave just asked some other guy for advice. Mario wants me to drop the charges. he is friends with the police. or at least he say he is.He says that the police habe a warrant against me.HE SAYS THAT HE AND CINDY WILL SAY THAT I ATTACKED her with a knife.and of course they believe him.it is not true of course but what can i do?he wins. i will give him half the custody of the kids. then i will have nothing. not worthy of my kids, not worthy of someone to love me, not worthy.i am going to go cry now. i am going to go curl up somewhere ans die. i am lost. i am sad. i want to run away. I want someone to tell me that i am beautifull and good . But no one does. No one just holds me and tells me it is ok. Noone gives ash*tabout sad crazy marla. I will never be loved...I will always be alone, and lonely. writing tragic poems about my crappy life. I need a hug. from someone who genuinely care about me. about how i feel and what i think. night,bye,mar

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:hjhdlkghti Sent Date: 4/30/2008 10:22:08 PM

reassuring me that you are not sleeping with karen, putting your friends before me... hmm. are you SURE we are not going out? Take good care of your friend, sweety. And i hope to see you onje of these days when you are not too busy for me..... BYE THE WAY IT WAS NOT NECCESSARY TO TELL ME THAT . i JUST ASSUME I AM not the only friend that you sleep with. That would be far too...., well you know. cant have that now can we? peace,luv.mar

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From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:hjhdlkghti Sent Date: 4/30/2008 9:46:11 AM

boy oh girl can you write....

I'll call ya, it is easier for me...

cheers, oxoxoxxoxo Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: hjhdlkghti Sent Date: 4/29/2008 11:46:07 PM

im bored. i really wish you could have come over tonight. I could use a hug. and some advice. and a hug. oh did i already mention that? What am i going to do with you? I guess i will see you tommorrow. i dont know. maybe maybe not. i havent decided yet. I think i dont know what i think. I think i should go to bed. I think i should get laid. I am nervous to meet this guy on thursday. He has been patiently waiting for me throughall my crap on here.He has been sending me messages since the beginning of march. i keep giving him excuses because to be perfectly honest with you, i dont think I want anyone to fall in love with me. First i dont think i am worthy. second i dont think i a m worthy. Man mario did a number on me didnt he? all i want right now is a friend to hang out with and laugh with and go dancing with and occasionally have sex with. -a perfect relationship.- oh wait. i already have that with someone....... I know i should go and just have a walk and lunch with this guy, but i think he is really into me. and we all know i cant be with someone who is into me, can i? no. not me. there i go, feeling unworthy again. besides lets face it. long distance relationships never work out anyway. i dont care what people say. You cant have a relationship with someone who lives far away. I know montreal is not far, but believe me it is far when you are dating someone. Why do you think you are having trouble? besides the fact that the goddess wants us to be together and we are both fighting against it,It is the stupid distance thing. How can women resist your profile? you are completely adorable. I dont get it. maybe because i know you, but i remember when i first saw your profile and i though, wow, look at this guys light. the light in your eyes just blew me away. I cant explain it, Ok so now i know what a ****ed up jerk you are,but anyway. I have learned not to question the goddess, She puts certain people in our path and then it is up to us. That can be frustrating.I think the trick is just to not think too much. just enjoy each other when you are together andlet go when you are not. do you know what i mean? I know there is nothing wrong with me going for dates in montral sometimes. I just am afraid that i will meet someone who really wants to get to know me and then what?I dont have the energy to devote to that. So am i being unfair to these guys by even agreeing to go out with them when i have no intention of letting go the frienship that you and i have? I dont think many guys could really understand my messed up side the way you can. i guess thats why we are friends, I guess i dont want to give that up yet.I am not saying i have to i mean i am not marrying anyone, just meeting. whats to say i cant have a sane frienship with someone in montreal and a crazy one with you at home? there. the best of both worlds. I can go to the city and act all good and conservative and go out on very civilized dates with people and have a nice time, thaen i can come home and go see you and be myself. and hang out with cat. and ride vig every tuesday.Speaking of vig, whenever i think of her, i get this feeling.. I said today that i think i am in love...We had an amazing ride.i cant wait to tell you about it. by the way, we are going out on friday. just letting you know. we are going dancing. and you are not allowed to say no to me. I decided to take control. dont mess with me when i am taking charge. i wouldnt mind your input on all this. I need you to give me some advice.You should go with me on thursday. maybe not. You and i are too scary together. i think it is hard to let the world in on our little freaky universe. i guess its ok for me to meet people right? i just dont want to hurt anyone. except you. i dont care if i hurt you. i actually like hurting you. oh great now ive gone and gotten myself all horny.i guess its time for bed. and thanks. you let me vent and you dont judge. of course you have no choice if you read my mail. but you always do. you are a good friend. i feel blessed to have you in my life.jerk. idiot. dumbass. hmmmm. i really should go to sleep now. If you want to come over for coffee in the morning. i dont work till 1130. if not i will probably see you tomorrow night. hockey. if i go to montreal i will go around 1030 on thursday. maybe i will stop by your place on the way home. i know it is kind of useless for me to go cause like i said long distance doesnt work, but weell see. hug hug hug hug hug hug hug.dont worry i still hate you. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: wow Sent Date: 4/28/2008 10:30:24 AM

hey. better. Sounding a tad desperate,but hey if the shoe fits... I was just thinking. How fuu of sh*tthis is. I mean i am on here everyday, looking. LOoking for what? The perfect man? He doesnt exsist. Neither does the perfect woman. But we are so addicted to finding the one that we end up neglecting relationships that we already have. There is always someone out there who is cuter and funnier than the person that we are with. What are we searching for? some ideal of the woman or man that we put in our heads and we dont see what is right in front of us. Every guy is not the right one. They all have some stupid flaw that i say, next! And we will never find our perfect mate because they dont exsisit. Or they do but we pass right over them looking for something else.We are always looking. but we never find what we are looking for, do we? We should just enjoy the moment. Breathe in andlet love come the way it is supposed to. With someone we least expect. It makes me sad when i read some of the profiles on here. Why are we all so sad? Why cant we be happy just with ourselves? The hapiest people I know are people who found love the old fashioned way. I dont know if you can find true love on here. Maybe, but like i said, we keep searching for our ideal idea of what we think we need and we dont see the forest for the trees, as they say. As for me, i think I have had enough heartache for one life. We dont need the pain. the tears. It is not fun anymore. I wish i could think more like a guy sometimes. You know, just go for it .and have fun no expectations . I am trying to do that with you. Sometimes i wonder what will happen with our frienship if you met someone. I wouldnt want to give up that raw, crazy passionate side of us. It is fun. But then i know what i would do. I would support you, I would listen to you and sympsthise with your angst.. And when it ends, i will hug you and we will go out and get drunk. And dance our sorrows. and then we will write some angry music and play and have a great time.(**** the pain away) Just to start all over again.why? because you are inside of me and i am not going away. And maybe one day you will see what i see. And know what i know. and you will be happy luv peace your friend mar ps

hockey my place if you want tonight send me a message or call me at home or on my cell after 7pm. the kids enjoyed the bonfire it was good meeting your friend from here. she is cool. Chantale made us a bit enviuos talking about her wedding.but honestly, i dont think that path is mine. She is so happy, though. It was wonderfull just watching her talk about her dress and the reception. AND HER EYES JUST LIT UP. sHE GOT THIS FEELING AROUND HER. AND HER AURA GLEAMED.. wOW. i CANT IMAGINE WHAT LOVE LIKE THAT FEELS LIKE. And how did they meet? I bet if they were on this sight they would have totally overlooked each other. Or they would have met, but like all of us on here, they would have been so busy looking for some ideal mate that they would have not seen each other. Why do we do that? What the hell is wrong with us? You know it is true. you and i do that everyday. We keep hoping for someone to make us happy, when the only one that can do that is us. Have a great day, did you paint yet? i didnt notice. and dont forget to practice. call me later., k?

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: saturday (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 4/27/2008 12:15:32 AM

starmozie has used some points and bought you this gift!!!.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I hate you.

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:jkh Sent Date: 4/24/2008 10:43:30 PM

hi. im guessing your evening went well. you know of course that now you are in big trouble.You better call me. and now you have to take me out and buy me lots of drinks and dance with me and let me beat you up a little. And if you ever stand me up again i get to kill you. but maybe we should play nice . NOT.. In case you havent figured out, i am joking. never knoW with yOU, you are so touchy about this stuff. And yes you are a jerk,but thats probably why i like you. I was listening to some angry music tonight . it was fun. it made the girls next door go home. how mean! Mazzy wanted to sleep at marios so i am all alone. you should have come over. we would have had fun. i guess you had a bunch of fun last night though. good for you. Not fair. I want some. fun that is. and i rally need to get laid! know anyone? send me a message back and lets get together. did you know you cant write b a n k a c c o u n t on this sight? watch bank account. or maybe it is just with messaging it is funny. i am trying to find out all the things we are not allowed to say on here. i know. i dont have a life. well i am too ugly to have a life i guess. or too old. or something. today i tried to cross my legs at the computer and i couldnt lift my leg! from riding the other day. is that funny or what? you should have seen me. i cant wait to go again. in a month i will have the body of a rock star. ooh. sh*there i go again, running off at the fingers. i need your camera tomorrow. if you are not seeing some chick tomorrow night, will you come over? i wont promise dinner cause you keep standing me up(nice friend, there jj) but food will be involved if you show up. call me when you wake up or when you get home in the morning. and by the way, you are an idiot. luv peace mar

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:RE:jkh Sent Date: 4/24/2008 10:46:04 AM

i can be a jerk, EH? Reply

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:jkh (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 4/24/2008 10:44:30 AM

glow11 has used some points and bought you this gift!!!.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- or this? Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: RE:RE:jkh Sent Date: 4/24/2008 10:43:31 AM

idiot. see you tonight

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From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:jkh Sent Date: 4/24/2008 10:41:56 AM

ok, how is this?

xoxo Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: jkh Sent Date: 4/24/2008 9:25:00 AM

what the hell? send me a message please.

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: hi (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 4/23/2008 11:51:04 PM

starmozie has used some points and bought you this gift!!!.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i was at work today. Feeling sorry for myself and i thought about what my friend jean-luc said. i asked him the other day how he keeps on searching without getting discouraged. Every time i am kicked, i want to just curl up and let life kick the sh*tout of me. But i take a breath,turn over and get up, ready to fight again. He sent me back a message saying, no not fight. look.It was such a simple answer but it blew me away. He has been on this sight for like a year. He is a nice looking man and seriously good guy, just no chemistry. i mean none. like i have more chemistry with my left shoe, none. But he just keeps on keeping on. i dont know why. he is looking for someone out there who is perfect for him, i think. There is no perfect person. for anyone. there always has to be something we need to give up. or not give up, really. just compromise, maybe. I wish him luck. you too. WE both tried so hard to make something from something that wasnt there. i wonder why you did? for me i was just thinking i must be crazy. her is this sweet nice looking funny guy who i have so much in common with and i am not that into him. you i mean. i really wanted to be too. I still kinda do. I dont want to have to bother with all that meeting people crap. going through all that does he like me shit. Hell i dont even want a boyfriend. That was my revelation today. I though about you and i wondered what it was that attracted me to you,( besides those beautifull eyes) and i realized it was what you said about music. I need to perform with you. Thats all i ever wanted from you. music. i loved what you said about being creative with music. We need to get some kick ass punky angry in your face but not too much (like a little hippy love on the side) and play. THATS WHY I MET YOU. I am good with the not going out thing anymore. actually i am better than good, The whole last month have been anangst ridden roller coaster ride of weird emotions that i dont understand. Today all of a sudden, i felt a wavw, it started in my toes travelled upinto myhead and then swirled around. it felt strange. it was something i havent felt in weeks, months, years, even. I WAS HAPPY. really at peace the world is doing good, and so am i happy. and i thought, I just broke up with this great guy and i am happy? Because you and i are meant to be friends. hopefully really good friends. I already feel like we are . maybe just me, but i feel like i found my best friend again. not my lover. my friend. my you can count on me to be there for yo no matter what and i will be a shoulder to cry on(do you cry?) friend. i feel so happy that all that dating sh*tis out of the way. i feel like a veil has been lifted. i cant wait to hug you. i hope you are ok with that. i hope your next girlfriend is ok with that. but you did say all your friends are girls. Like all my close friends are guys, and i meant what i said about us meeting in every life. our souls do know each other. and they love each other, but not that way. it is like a tentative almost fleeting wisp of air. Abreeze that blows by unexpectedly. i dont know what to expect with you, i hope you are not too blown away by my sudden bursts of emotion. i just write what i feel. I am getting too tired to write any more. i hope to see you tonight. are you sure you want to come over here after a date^>? or am i assuming it is a daate and its not. or its just none of my business.ill shut up now. and i am serious. we NEED TO PLAY TOGETHER. I DONT HAVE THE BEST VOICWE AROUND, BUT IF I TRAIN IT AGAIN I HAVE A GOOD RANGE AND I REALL Y NEED YOU TO PERFORM WITH ME. oops caps lock. I want to come over and garden with you, do you still have floweres for me? If yoy are doing your bonfire this weekend make it sunday so the girlsa can go. I wanted to go out dancing on fri, but cant find anyone to go. wanna go? i can be your official designated driver. george wonr go cause he thinks every time we go out we end up sleping togtether. jeez. it just happened once. idiot. and it wasnt memorable. There is a really nice man who wants to meet me but i am not sure. It takes someone special to deal with me, dont you think? ANYWAY, COME OVER TOMMORROW after you supper. we can watch the game and maybe talk about music. i am serious, we need to platy together. platy? ok i am tired. and for ****s sake. answer your phone when i call! unless you have found someone you are spending time at their house and so never home? whatever. dont neglect your friends for a stupid girl. remember. relationships end, but frienships arent supposed to., right? peace,\ your freind mar

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From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: l[pd (Contains Gift) Sent Date: 4/21/2008 7:30:56 AM

starmozie has used some points and bought you this gift!!!.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hey. wasnt sure if i should leave you a message here or on your regular e mail, but i decided to give you a thrill. I am on my way to pick up maelle. It would be fun if you would have come for the ride but that would involve meeting my mom and nobody wants that.. not yet anyway. she is nice, but scary. even though she did start dating her second husband only 6 moths after my dad passed. whatever. Ok. dinner my house tonight and hockey. I will call you on the way back from montreal. you seemed distracted the other morning. I cant help wondering what kat said to you about me. oh well.i am glad i didnt see you yesterday. i was able to get my house more in order. not perfect, but better. i really need to paint. maybe next weekeknd. i am off. I told shannon that i would go to montreal to see her. she is having a rough time with her man. i dont get it. she raised 2 boys on her own and now she thinks she cant do it without russel. i think it is more because she thinks she cant affored it. maybe, but she couldnt afford it with the boys either. maybe you can come to mtl with me next weekend. it could be fun. lots of fun. I said i wanted to talk to you about some stuff, but its reall y not a big deal. just sometimes im not sure how to approach you sexually. you need to tell me what you nedd from me to make you happy.Are you just not that into sex or not that into me? i am just used to guys being all over me all the time and you are not like that. i dont mind. it is nice to just sleep sometimes but my insecure. im not good enough side gets scared.sometimes i think. yeah, i look damn good. and other times i just see ugly,old etc. i am slowly making her go away. Having adorable men like you interested in getting to know me helps.I know that i am not 20 anymore but in my head i am, so it freaks me out sometimes when i am walking by a mirror and i see this 45 year old woman looking at me. So lets talk about that, please. i need to know how you feel about all that. i dont want to always be questioning little stupid things like am i hot enough for you. maybe we just need to go out dancing more often. that was fun. mmmmmmmmm. yeah fun. i like rough, passionate crazy sex after a nigh out. i kinda feel guilty cause i was getting all the attention, but not that much. sorry. i do want to please you, you have to tell me how before i get a complex.( just what i need, another complex) anyway if i dont stop now i will end upnot going to montreal. so dont forget. hockey and dinner my place. i will call you from my cell or you can call me. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

From: glow11 (View Profile) Subject: RE:yihl (Contains Rose) Sent Date: 4/18/2008 10:35:48 AM

glow11 has sent you a rose. Each user can send 2 roses over the course of 30 days.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Call me on your cell on the way back...I do have banking to do and go to my mothers and yes, dinner on me tonight!

See ya later,

oh ya, nice writings. Wow! Reply

From: starmozie (View Profile) Subject: yihl Sent Date: 4/18/2008 8:42:45 AM

hey. did you sleep well? Not me, but im used to that. I am a bit dissapointed in your reaction yesterdy and im not sure where to go from here.I was under the impression that you were into me. I am sad that i could lose a potentialfriend because i am not hot enough or whatever. There is more to frindship than that. If you are comfortable with each other and can laugh together thats half the battle.If you are just looking for some cute young thing to ............. then you are never going to find love. just some friendly advice. As for me, well i just want someone i can hang out with . And play music with. sh*ti just want to have a friend. I am not looking for the love of my life. I just think if it happens it happens. sometimes it takes time. sometimes you are laughing with your best guy friend and then a glance and everything changes. I decided when i first met you and we laughed and i went home thinking you reminded me of my best friend sheldon who i am not allowed to be friends with because he has a wife. you and i had that same connection. we have a million things in common. there is just that little thing. it is important though isnt it? you and i havent had the opportunity to explore that. mostly cause you are falling asleep at 9 oclock.I like hanging out with you. I want to help you in your garden and i want you to come hang out in my brook. When i meet someone i decide to be friends with i am their friend for life. You can always count on me to be there for you if you need something. I am just not sure how to approach this. I dont get the big turn around. i know i am not ugly. I have the body of a 20 year old. I will be very upset if we end our friendship.i need to have my guy friends around. I like having a friend that is close by. I dont know what else to say to you. i am dissapointed in you. I thought you were cooler than that. like we said lets take one day at a time. lets not stop hanging out. i have no friends around here,(woe is me) I need some. I like the fact that you have lots of friends. i am a vey social person and it kills me to be alone all the time.I am happiest when i with a bunch of people. like when i am performing.Its such a rush. I am in my element. I need people around me who can share that with me.I was hoping we could do some music together. anyway if you dont see who i am then i have to admit i was wrong. And i have to try to figure out why you were sent to me. I as told about you months ago in a vision. but why? Cant figure it out. I just think you are not sure what you want or you have an idea in your head that will be impossible to fill. whatever you can count on me to be around. we should go out together. i mean in public. like a club. maybe the different atmosphere will charge things up. We have only hung out at your house after you worked all day. we didnt give ourselves a chance to stir things up. Dont worry about the chemistry thing. it is something you can change anyway. For me. i just feel so comfortable around you, it feels like you and i have known each other forever. I dont feel like i have to be "on" with you.I can be myself. That is a rare thing for me to meet someone and feel so comfortable so fast. Our souls know each other. I am glad we met again in this life. Like i said, every day is a new adventure for me. I really want you to come along for the ride. If it doesnt work on the romance front, and i am not sure about that one either, i hope i have made a new good friend. .Lets take things one day at a time. I dont know about the chemistry thing either, but i dont want to brush you off that fast. I will be back around 3. Are you still making me dinner? i think we should talk. really talk. mar

hey. did you sleep well? Not me, but im used to that. I am a bit dissapointed in your reaction yesterdy and im not sure where to go from here.I was under the impression that you were into me. I am sad that i could lose a potentialfriend because i am not hot enough or whatever. There is more to frindship than that. If you are comfortable with each other and can laugh together thats half the battle.If you are just looking for some cute young thing to ............. then you are never going to find love. just some friendly advice. As for me, well i just want someone i can hang out with . And play music with. sh*ti just want to have a friend. I am not looking for the love of my life. I just think if it happens it happens. sometimes it takes time. sometimes you are laughing with your best guy friend and then a glance and everything changes. I decided when i first met you and we laughed and i went home thinking you reminded me of my best friend sheldon who i am not allowed to be friends with because he has a wife. you and i had that same connection. we have a million things in common. there is just that little thing. it is important though isnt it? you and i havent had the opportunity to explore that. mostly cause you are falling asleep at 9 oclock.I like hanging out with you. I want to help you in your garden and i want you to come hang out in my brook. When i meet someone i decide to be friends with i am their friend for life. You can always count on me to be there for you if you need something. I am just not sure how to approach this. I dont get the big turn around. i know i am not ugly. I have the body of a 20 year old. I will be very upset if we end our friendship.i need to have my guy friends around. I like having a friend that is close by. I dont know what else to say to you. i am dissapointed in you. I thought you were cooler than that. like we said lets take one day at a time. lets not stop hanging out. i have no friends around here,(woe is me) I need some. I like the fact that you have lots of friends. i am a vey social person and it kills me to be alone all the time.I am happiest when i with a bunch of people. like when i am performing.Its such a rush. I am in my element. I need people around me who can share that with me.I was hoping we could do some music together. anyway if you dont see who i am then i have to admit i was wrong. And i have to try to figure out why you were sent to me. I as told about you months ago in a vision. but why? Cant figure it out. I just think you are not sure what you want or you have an idea in your head that will be impossible to fill. whatever you can count on me to be around. we should go out together. i mean in public. like a club. maybe the different atmosphere will charge things up. We have only hung out at your house after you worked all day. we didnt give ourselves a chance to stir things up. Dont worry about the chemistry thing. it is something you can change anyway. For me. i just feel so comfortable around you, it feels like you and i have known each other forever. I dont feel like i have to be "on" with you.I can be myself. That is a rare thing for me to meet someone and feel so comfortable so fast. Our souls know each other. I am glad we met again in this life. Like i said, every day is a new adventure for me. I really want you to come along for the ride. If it doesnt work on the romance front, and i am not sure about that one either, i hope i have made a new good friend. .Lets take things one day at a time. I dont know about the chemistry thing either, but i dont want to brush you off that fast. I will be back around 3. Are you still making me dinner? i think we should talk. really talk.

I went to see my friend ilia. We talked and she is very wise. She is like my shrink. you could use one.I got the revelations. I have the answers and I hold the world in my hand. I hold your heart in my hands and you are not ready for that . You are a reflection of me.We need to work on ourselves before we can work on each other. Im thinking why doesnt it want to work? What the fuck!. I told you i am a collector of lost souls. It is what i do. i am a server . i am the mother, the caretaker, the one who gives and AS ARE YOU. Reflection is the key to understanding. self reflection. you are also a server. a giver. a fixer of souls with your ready smile and you are always there to help when a friend needs you. I am realizing that that is the exact problem. All your girlfriends before, all my boyfriends have been people that we needed to fix. It was always a challenge, something that neede to be worked on. It was never easy.It cant be with us. When we meet someone who is perfect, we need to find some flaw, some reason , some excuse for why it cant work. We cant be with someone who has nothing to fix. that would be against our nature. It is who we are. I think we both need to reflect on that and maybe one day both of us will be able to be with someone just because they are good for us and not because they are not. we have had serious confusion in the past.You have a lot to work on yourself before you can be in a relationship. Ypou are like me, too. we are both so afraid that something will happen down the road that will lead to our breakup, that instead of trying to figure out how to have a normal relationship we create conflict in order to not be hurt down the road. We are two lost souls who have foud each other and now we dont know what to do. How do you fix something that is not broken^>? how do you have a relationship with someone who has no faults? we create our own. thats how. Everything works, so lets make up a reason for it not to. Trust me i am right about this. I am not saying I want to be with you now, I am saying i dont. You need to reflect on why you have this trouble with me. There is no reason for it. You are attracted to me physically, you are attracted to me emotionally. You are so overwhelmed to be with someone who will love you thouroughly and complety that you cant handle it. you have to find some flaw, some excuse not to love me because you feel you are not worthy of having that kind of love in your life. someone who accepts everything about you and wont try to change you. You have never had a real relationship before. i mean you have, but they never lasted, why? I need to figure that out for myself, too. Why do i keep falling for people who are messed up? when am i going to learn that it is ok for someone to love me. And it is ok to be open and honest.You need to do some serious soul searching before you are readty to be loved the way love was meant to be. you need to ask yourself why you create conflict where there is none? you need to ask yourself why you cannot love someone just because they simply and purely like you for you. with all your garbage and baggage and conflicts and alchohol and you are burned out. It is not the time to be intimate with anyone. I dont just mean me. I am sure you can have sex with any number of women, but you have trouble with real intimacy. As soon as there is real intimacy, you run. you make up excuses. you go online to meet other women, you freak out . not even aware of it yourself. I see it. i feel it. you are so afraid of love. i mean real love. think about it. I am right. ai told you our souls are connected. you touched the goddess and we are one. you will never leave my soul. i will never leave yours. it is too late for that. Dont get me wrong, i am not trying to get you back . It wont work now. WE both need to work on ourselves before we can have a relationship with each other. If we do. I think we have a few miles to go on our seperate paths before wecan meet up again. you really need to ask yourself why you have trouble being physical with a woman who is perfect for you. There is something wrong when you meet someone and you are still online trying to meet someone else. remeber what i said about always looking, never finding?we seek what we need .we need what we seek. it is not always the same. Your soul is wise. It knows i cant handle love with you right now. it knows the truth of who i am. wher ei need to be and that you cannot be my savoiur. not this time. not again. i need to save myself this time.you need to save yourself. only then can we save each other How can our souls know things that we do not? how can our deepness understand the things that are only fleeting glimpses in our concious mind? Why do we keep finding each other when it not the time? whydo we always find excuses to be without each other? when will be stop punishing ourselves and accept that love can be good and simple and it doesnt have to involveangst and conflict? when you can learn to relax and accept love then maybe it will happen. Do your soul searching. think. ask questions, find out why? it doesnt make sense and so there must be a reason. what are you afraid of? you are afraid, i am too. I KNOW THAT I AM AFRAID TO LOVE BECAUSE I AM SCARE IT WONT WORK AND I WILL GET HURT, SO I FREEZE UP. NOT NECCESSARILY PHYSICALLY, ALTHOUGH THAT TOO. wE KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR OURSELVES EVEN IF WE DONT WANT TO ADMIT IT. WE BOTH KNOW THAT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE IN LOVE. yOU HAVE LEFT A JOB WHERE YOU WORKED FOR 15 YEARS. YOU ARE HIDING IT WELL, BUT I KNOW YOU ARE CONCERNED, IT SHOWS PHYSICALLY. YOU ARE UNDER A SERIOUS AMOUNT OF STRESS AND OF COURSE YOU CANT GET HARD! YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT THINGS AND FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO FOR YOUR FUTURE. iT IS ALL UP IN THE AIR.Maybe you have enough money to get you by forever, but maybe you dont.. I dont think you should neccessarily think of it as a reflection on me, but as your bodys way of dealing with the stess. you have not been out of a job in 20 years!You say you are happy about it and you are dealing, but we both can see that you are not. I am not taking your problem personally. you shouldnt take your problem as a reflection of us. It is a reflection of you. When you get your shit together, when you know how you will keep paying for your house, when you know you will have a job tomorrow , then i am sure you will work again.I hope you dont think it is me. I just realised that. it is not. It is you. it is nor=t us. it is you. I dont think anyone woiuld be able to get hard with the stress that your subconciuos is dealing with. ever hear of viagra? you need to work on yourself a bit, love. Get off line, forget about women and fix johnny. And dont worry, i am not going anywhere. I never do. If you want to believe it is something about us, then i cant stop you. i know different. Maybe you should talk to someone. A girl see what they think. i bet they will tell you what i already know. WE really like each other, we both want it to work,so this problem has nothing to do with us. I will not take it personally. when you are ready, iwill be here. Not waiting, but here. work on you and i will work on me and maybe together we can figure out the way to fix the world, one good thought at a time. mar