questioned

57 yrs on this planet..... excellent physical health, not so good mental health. Acute depression, mild (?) bipolar. Not good. This is what's on my mind; How this affects my life, what's real and what isn't....... This new age of physics, quantum physics. Again, what is real, what isn't? Irregardless, I find it all extremely fascinating, enthralling. That is, when I'm able to Feel. Sometimes, I have an absolute knowingness I'm not alone. I'm connected to all there is in the universe in the most intimate way. I'm not only one with that which many call God but I am God, as we all are. This is my belief. And I continue to believe I can somehow pull myself up and out of this ungodly state of mental disarray I find myself in. I've studied shamanistic healing for several yrs. I certainly don't consider myself a shaman. The greatest treasure I gained from this time was my release from alcoholism. Journeying with the intent of meeting and communicating with the spirit of alcohol. A rather lengthy story. Suffice to say I no longer have a need or desire for alcohol. It has been this way for over 5 1/2 yrs. I suppose some would call this a miracle. I think not. What's extraordinary is we've not learned to live and be in this balanced way. We've chosen to turn our backs on it for what seems to be the overpowering lure/lies of progress. I have no belief in the concept of heaven/hell but if there were a satan, progress would be it. I was born in the small dusty cowtown of Burns, Oregon. My grandfather and my father (a man completely lost) were both cowboys at various times of their lives. My grandather died on his horse, at a relatively young age. My favorite place to go and Be is the SE Oregon High Desert region. Rugged, peaceful, brutal, searing, soothing, quiet, spiritual, beautiful...... Namaste, Jim Oleachea