playward

"FREE TO BE"

One thing I am recognizing within myself is my patterns of trying to control who leela is. It is not a coincidence that leela is a very independent soul, who continues to remind me that she knows who she is. There is a lot of healing to be had in our world. A deep epidemic that is not serving us anymore is that we are not being allowed to be ourselves. Sounds simple, yet as a world we have made this so complex. We search our whole lives through our work, relationships, addictions, to find ourselves simply because we were told to be something else early on. This leads to abuse, not only of oneself but of others. This leads to more violent behaviors towards one self and others. When we are not heard, we CRAVE it. We act out to receive any attention possible. We protect and defend and do not even know why we are doing so. What would the world look like if we allowed our children to be who they are? Even deeper, if we allowed ourselves to be free to be. We would begin to notice that we trust the compass within, as opposed to asking everyone else. We would create our own paths on what brought us joy as opposed to listening to the rules on what “success” is. Most women I have met have shared that they have lost themselves. And I understand that. But I feel we never really knew ourselves. We weren’t given that space. We gave out because that is what we were taught to do. We pleased others and tried to be “good” yet inside wanted so badly to receive and rebel against it. Our strong desire to know who we are keeps on going, whether we realize it or not. I catch myself telling leela what I think she should do and realize how deeply programmed I am. The layers of peeling this onion of illusions is deep, but a powerful journey. In the moments of peeling, laughter is key. Understanding oneself and our children with a light heart is such a lighter way to experience life. “I just say yes to everything,” she said. “I have lived my whole life over giving and not really wanting to do any of it.” She was a bright soul in the front of the room in my workshop and I remember her deep desire to say no. “I don’t know what people would say if I said no, and I do not want to lose my friends,” she continued. “ but I do know that most of the time I am doing things to please others, and that makes me tired and stressed.” What an incredible insight. This woman effected me in many ways and effected all the women in the room. We are so inter-woven. All of us nodding our heads in a deep understanding of the “Pleasing” energy. What if we before making any choices asked ourselves “Is this what I want to do?” And then heard what our soul shared and followed it? Wow. We would begin to harness a relationship to ourselves that is powerful. We would stop judging and gossiping of others because we would feel so secure in our being- that it would not bother us to be different from others. This is way beyond gender or age. Finding ourselves and creating a relationship with our own soul is what is needed for the new way. It is freedom. It is home. It is play.