Tijn Touber

Every now and then science runs into what is called an “anomaly” – an event or observation that deviates from the rule, something that doesn’t make sense. If the anomaly cannot be explained by the current way of thinking – by the current paradigm – what usually happens is that scientists will say: “We cannot explain this as yet, but don’t worry. In time – when we gather more information – we will.” This attitude gives scientists a reason to ignore the anomaly and to postpone asking fundamental questions about their current way of thinking.

The late American physicist and expert in the history of science Thomas S. Kuhn, described a very interesting psychological experiment in his book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions (1962). Researchers Jerome Bruner and Leo Postman asked their subjects to identify playing cards on short and controlled exposure. Many of the cards were normal, but some were “anomalous”, like a red six of spades and a black four of hearts. When these cards were first exposed briefly they were almost always identified as normal. The black four of hearts was, for example, identified as the four of either spades or hearts. So the cards were immediately fitted into one of the conceptual categories based on prior experience.   Read more...

The other day I was listening to The Beatles

The other day I was having coffee in the park with my good friend Alex. One of the things I like about Alex is that he is a man. Now I know that may sound a bit queer, but in these times, when so many men (and women) are struggling with their gender identities, it is nice to meet a guy every now and then who is still a “real” man and being proud of it.

Alex likes all the things “real” men like to do: boxing, wrestling, looking at- and talking about girls, riding the big waves on his surf board and going to soccer games with his mates. Like a “real” man he doesn’t like his wife around when he’s doing most of these men things. Especially not during soccer games: “They always spoil the fun,” he says. “They sit there in between us guys with an attitude like ‘what’s all the fuss about?’ It’s really hard to get into the game with someone like that around!”   Read more...

A friend of mine stutters. He is also a bit clumsy, but everybody loves Paul. The other day Paul had to give a speech, the first – and maybe the last – he ever gave. His boss, for whom he had worked for over twenty years, was going to leave the company and Paul was very sad to see him go.

At the reception in his boss’ honour, his successor gave a well prepared and witty speech. People smiled politely at the – not so spontaneous – jokes and intellectual wisecracks. After that it was Paul’s turn. Nervously he took the stage and tried to remember what he wanted to say. He fumbled for his notes, but couldn’t read them and decided to just try to express how much he loved his boss, that he had been like a father to him and how much he would miss him.   Read more...

A good friend of mine calls himself a “light worker”. He constantly travels the world to help people find the light inside them selves again. For some reason however, whenever he leaves a country usually something dramatic happens. The other day he was in Palestine where he did a praying session with a large group of people. Two days later torrential rains caused a mudslide and four people died on the very spot where he had done his healing session. I wondered: if our world is kept together by polarity (yin/yang; minus/plus; zero/one; matter/anti-matter), could it be that whenever my friend brings more light to some place, something or someone else automatically ends up in the dark? Somehow the overall balance has to be kept, right? If that is the case, then what good is my friend doing? We talked about this for many hours until another friend offered a beautiful insight. She said: “Our world doesn’t need the be saved, it needs to be loved.” What she meant to say, was that whenever we try to save someone, we judge that person as being wrong, bad, dark, victim, etc. We don’t see the person for what they really are, but reduce them to a fragment of the whole. This is how we create polarity and duality: good/bad; yin/yang; black/white, etc. The only way to escape from this dualistic mind set, is to go beyond all polarities to a place of oneness. Love does that. It doesn’t judge. It includes everything and everyone. When all are included, there is no need for anyone to stand in the dark. When no one stands in the dark, no one needs to be saved.   Read more...

We should really be able to start each day anew, I thought as I considered the recent changes to Ode. Why is it so difficult to let go of the past? Why do we cling so stubbornly to things that are over and done, to painful memories or bad experiences? These questions are a theme running through my life and over the years I’ve put them to the wise people I’ve had the privilege of meeting. And in the 10 years I’ve written for Ode I’ve met a number of wise people who’ve given me a number of answers.

In India I met Dadi Janki, a yogini and head of the Brahma Kumaris Spiritual University. I know few people who are as present in the here and now as she. Her secret: Dadi rounds off each day before she begins a new one. Every evening she asks herself how her day was. Did she hurt anyone? Does she need to make amends? Is there something she needs to say or someone she needs to forgive? Before she closes her eyes she makes her amends—sometimes personally and sometimes by sending an apology, thanks or love in her thoughts. When she wakes up in the morning, everything is clean and new.   Read more...

The other day an acquaintance dropped by unexpectedly. I had only met Laura recently, but there had been an immediate click. We seemed to have a lot in common. My wife also liked her, so we settled on the couch with some drinks and talked about our lives, to get to know each other better. After a few hours, Laura seemed to feel so relaxed and at home that she shared some of the deep pain that had been troubling her since childhood. She was very reluctant to do so, because she didn't want to impose upon us and certainly didn't want to burden us with her "stuff." She kept apologizing and checking if it was ok to pour her heart out.

We managed to convince her that it was fine. We had all the time in the world, we weren't going anywhere and we liked listening to her. She relaxed and decided to trust us. Over the next hour, the whole story, including all the emotions, poured out. When she left we all felt great. Laura felt great because she wasn't carrying the burden alone anymore. And we felt great because we realized that Laura had given us the greatest gift any human being can possibly give: trust.   Read more...

Why do people bother to have all sorts of debates about religion? Why do people try to convince each other that their God is the right God and that their religion is the right one? Why do we try to impose our philosophies about life, death, truth, love, and the Big Questions on each other, when none of us really knows the answers anyway? The only relevant question about any religion or philosophy is not if it is true or not, but if it is effective. If your belief system is not making you happy, if it does not bring peace and love to your heart and to the hearts of those around you, it does not work. And, by the way, if it doesn't work, it can't be true.   Read more...