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posted by splitscreen on 9/24/2008 1:39 pm

Unplugged: My experience at a silent retreat

I recently completed a sixty-six hour silent retreat. My time was spent at a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains that was built to offer individuals a mountain location for relaxation, reflection, and renewal. The place was absolutely beautiful and resonated with peace and serenity. When I arrived, I could feel that whatever had previously happened at this location was consistent with what I was looking for. After unpacking and walking the grounds, I crawled onto the bed and experienced what I what believe to be one of the best naps of my life.

I experienced many feelings during my retreat. I spent most of my time meditating, reading and journaling. I practiced calm yet strong breathing. I reflected on the illusion of control. I recognized that I should listen more and talk less. I remembered to forgive and to express gratitude. I decided that I could create a new existence by becoming something different. I became aware of existence without directions. Directions are based on what we believe we understand and by design will not guide us to what we inherently know. From this point forward, I want to experience everything, as I know, not as I was taught to understand.

In hindsight, it is obvious to me that I was tired. Because I get plenty of exercise, nourishment and lots of rest, my condition had gone unnoticed to me. I was fatigued due to everyday circumstances that consume existence as we understand it: time, schedule, bills, entertainment, politics, opinion, education, religion, government, healthcare, prescription, conservative, liberal, jobs, money, houses, crisis, cars, war, oil, protest, news, democracy, elections, fatalities, race, gender, preference, sex, retirement, vacation, drugs, legal, illegal, insurance, inflation, recession, mortgage, prices, loans, rates, prison, virus, law, security, national, country, citizen, cost, rights, constitution, wealth, worth, profit, loss, poor, disaster, food, homeless, disease, pregnancy, abortion, pro-life, evil, moral, cancer, etc., and etc. The list is infinite. Do you feel what I’m referring to by reading this? Is your energy different than it was five minutes ago? It’s a wonder that we remember our name, with so many distractions all feverishly welcoming us to self identify with its particular box. It is now clear to me that I needed to make a connection with my inner self.

The experience was life changing and I imagine that anyone could achieve bliss from creating his or her own silent retreat. I floated above the clouds and observed life from a different point of view. I was simultaneously alone and connected. I experienced fear and became unafraid. I left the retreat with a desire to not only love my wife, family and friends, but to love this world and everyone in it. It became clear that picking and choosing who and what to love is not an option. We either love or we don’t. It’s just that simple.

(www.stevenalston.com)


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