The hidden spirituality of men

The spiritual lives of men are, for many, concealed, repressed or forgotten. In an exclusive extract from his new book, Matthew Fox argues that men can rediscover their true selves by embracing the role of noble warrior.

Matthew Fox | October 2008 issue

The spiritual warrior uses anger and aggression, containing it at the same time. Anger becomes moral outrage within his heart, fueling actions. However, these actions aren’t violent, aggressive or deadly. The spiritual warrior seeks to change others and so his decision-making is rational and compassionate, in service of results, not just a discharge for personal anger.

We men have been allowing others, including corporations, the media and politicians, to define our manhood for long enough. It’s time for us to take our manhood back. And we must do this before it’s too late—before excessive yang energy (which is fire) literally burns the Earth up. The history of the distorted masculine goes back thousands of years to around 4500 BCE with the overthrow of matriarchy and the triumph of patriarchy. This led to what Riane Eisler, University of California in Los Angeles professor and president of the Center for Partnership Studies, calls “the dominator trance,” which reveals itself in empire-building and witch-burning, in inquisitions and crusades, in banishing the goddess and Divine Feminine, in making a scapegoat of pleasure and sexuality and in a modern philosophy that promised to “torture Mother Earth for her secrets,” to quote Francis Bacon. The male soul has been profoundly wounded by this history—as has the female soul. Today, the stakes for finding a Sacred Marriage of the Divine Feminine and the Sacred Masculine have never been higher. Our survival hangs in the balance.

When a healthy masculinity returns, both men and women will rejoice. So too will animals, plants and generations not yet born. We’ll not only be lovers but also the beloved. We’ll rediscover friendship and the value of alliances over hostilities. Beauty will return. The Goddess will return. We’ll find God within ourselves and within creation. Life will become a celebration more than an unending struggle.

Ultimately, men aren’t “problems to be solved,” but deep, impenetrable mysteries. Each one of us carries many stories, many ancestors and many archetypes in often-hidden places. We’re diverse. There’s no single “man problem.” Our unique DNA assures us that each of us came through this long, 14-billion-year journey with our own tales to tell and work to do. We’re wondrous and surprising and full of creativity. And we’re evolving still. We’re green and blue, warrior and hunter, father and son, husband and lover, spiritual and sensual, free and bound. That’s the adventure of it.

Time isn’t on our side. But our ancestors are. They and creation itself are cheering for us to make the right decision. To be real men to ourselves and generations to come.

It’s time for men to grow up spiritually. As a species, we can no longer be stuck in our adolescence. We need to explore ancient wisdom and deep teachings about the spiritual life of men, and how we touch it and how it touches us. If it’s true that the spiritual life of men is, for many, hidden or concealed, buried or covered up, repressed or forgotten, secret even from ourselves, then great things might follow if we dare to unbury and open up, reveal and unveil, uncover and herald, and speak out loud.

Matthew Fox is an Episcopal priest, theologian and author of numerous books on creation spirituality. This article is excerpted from The Hidden Spirituality of Men: Ten Metaphors to Awaken the Sacred Masculine, published in October by New World Library.

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Comments (5)

I wonder. Our language, certainly English, must be one of the factors that adds to this internal conflict of masculinity. Consider the repeated reference to god as male (ie he/him) when in actuality such a god can be neither male nor female (or perhaps is both). Change that reference and the masculine element of Humanity will also change,… given the time.

posted by HoaryMarmot on 10/12/2008 11:16 pm

Yes, yes, yes. We find ourselves immersed in these contradictions (or should i say, i do) and the alternatives can be so simple. I have had such difficulty in stating anything close to “I support the troops”. Thanks for the clarification. I support our warriors. I do not however, support our soldiers.

Soldiers are mindless pawns, there to fill a role until the day comes when robots can replace them. (Or will we come to the realization that we have outgrown war, as MLK envisioned?)

That said, a clarification is in order, because i also do not see this as black and white, even for any specific person. I speak of those moments when a soldier takes the role of warrior or perhaps even of humanitarian. Those moments make the whole tour of duty worthwhile. One can hear the difference. I can hear the difference. Often times it is that moment of warrioring that is recited by an old-timer, remembering the days on the battlefield or in the service of country…as soldier.

In that distinction lies the honour.

posted by HoaryMarmot on 10/12/2008 11:20 pm

Fr. Fox is ringing the same bells he's been ringing for quite some time. And they are worthy bells, but I think we're avoiding some of the central issues of the warrior archetype (issues which are quite often avoided in the desire to reclaim this archetype).

Let's call them: blood and violence.

Some can be warriors without being violent (the prophet is an excellent example), but that isn't the warriorhood that needs dealing with. What about the part of the warrior's job that involves destruction, killing and bloodshed. Unless we have discovered a way of eliminating violence from the human animal (and to the extent we can, we won't be able to eliminate it from all of us) we have to deal with the need to use violence. And please don't quote Gahndi to me. His methods worked, but I don't think they can be applied universally at all times and all places.

The warrior may have to strike, to kill, to destroy for the greater good. How do we raise warriors for whom these are final, but no less real, tools for the purposes that Fr. Fox has listed ? A warrior who cannot kill is not a warrior and we will not serve the spirituality of men if the real goal is to redefine the word "warrior" as a tactic to drain the calling of it's blood, danger, pain and hurt.

posted by William08 on 12/ 6/2008 5:26 pm

"Light on Yoga" describes step by step training and knowledge that would make Marines shiver. As if you could shiver over developed imagination of body and mind.

On the plane of physical and mental consciousness I suppose you can talk Male and Female. But any discussion of Spirit with only a little bit of conscious development quickly goes beyond the body of man (mankind). It is not Man or Women. Spirit is stuck in the primitive body as a man or woman or some imagined state of these. But SPIRIT is not male, female or other. It is simply SPIRIT.

Evolving from EGO SELF to Christ Consciousness to Cosmic Consciousness is a battle, I prefer Journey, for any true Warrior. But the small flame of body sexual preference or physical presence is quicly distinguished into the non sexual Light of Eternity. The first Chakra the seat of Sex is the first to be transformed into pure light of Spirit and NO SEX just light. To go from the bubble to the sea consciousness body and physical sex is the easiest battle for a true Warrior

Swami Rahda and Daya Mata are great physical body females, but great GOD WARRIORS of enlightenment.

posted by cayuse on 12/25/2008 9:42 am

"Light on Yoga" describes step by step training and knowledge that would make Marines shiver. As if you could shiver over developed imagination of body and mind.

Swami Rahda and Daya Mata are great physical body females, but great GOD WARRIORS of enlightenment.

posted by cayuse on 12/25/2008 9:51 am