When the inner demons come visiting

It seems that so often the buzzword these days is “Intention”: the focusing of consciousness to picture a scene so real that it becomes actual. It is about how “thoughts are things”, as Edgar Cayce would say, and how we make our how reality though our mental skills and attitude. (1)

In Ode’s October issue there was a well-written, insightful article by Peter Russell called “The Real Secret”. It dealt with quantum physics and the human mind. That article dispelled many false beliefs and misunderstandings about the pop culture’s interpretation of mental powers. Among many other helpful ideas, Russell pointed out that the poor and ill should not be accused of creating their condition because they did not think happy thoughts. In the end of his article Russell said, “ . . . we always have a choice in how we see, experience and interpret reality.”

I would like to add a slightly different angle to his wisdom. These comments do not come from well-researched scientific data, as Russell’s did, but are more from deep and intense personal experiences of many people, including myself.

Some of us are both blessed and cursed to have a paper-thin, almost transparent veil between objective consciousness and the profound, powerful mysteries that lie beyond that objective mind. As the psyche follows its natural course of ongoing fluctuation, sometimes this veil becomes very thin indeed. At other times, for one reason or another, that veil breaks, and the onslaught of unconscious material rushes in, shattering any clear lines of objective thinking. When this tsunami of the psyche hits, it comes in with full fierceness, ripping apart any moorings, boundaries, learned “proper” behavior, or security that might have been built up over a lifetime. The gales whip across the seascape of the heart with such ferocious intensity that not going under, not being completely overwhelmed, not drowning, take every ounce of energy and effort that one can possibly muster.

Inner and outer always blend and bend together. So, as an outer or inner traumatic situation tears open the psyche’s veil, often simultaneously other challenging events relentlessly come bombarding in, allowing little or no space between them. These ceaseless challenges pound upon a psyche that is already battered, bruised, beaten and overwhelmed.

At those times when well-intended people come in with comments like, ”You can always control your attitude”, you can be sure that those words are some of the cruelest and most inappropriate anyone could ever say.

I also venture to say from my exceedingly humble viewpoint that sometimes our lives are “meant” to crack open in ways that are tough, relentless, and almost more than we can bear. Might there not be a “Wisdom”, for lack of a better word, that is far larger than what our feisty little egos want and could ever contain? That “Wisdom” could be seen as an ordering principle or a pattern that we are part of. And part of that pattern is a progression that includes not only the physical, emotional, and mental, but also the spiritual dimensions of our lives. Maybe just as a darling toddler seemingly overnight bursts into a gangly, pimply, argumentative teenager, so too, the psyche at times might push with all its force to grow into its next stage of becoming.

The current “new” thinking among the Western middle class seems to be that growth need not be painful and that we can and should make up our minds to be joyous in all phases of life. Some of this may indeed be true. But no worldview contains the entire picture. In fact, many “worldviews” are very cultural and class specific.

This does not mean we should not strive to be happy. Of course not! That would be absurd. But it seems that while our egos may want to be always happy, at times a far deeper, vaster, wiser part of who we are is pushing us beyond our comfort zone. And that most often is not a painless experience.

Even though it does not look good; even though we “should” be in control and count our blessings; and even though we can barely endure another assault from either the inner or outer worlds, maybe those intensely challenging times are part of an ongoing pattern, a new arrangement that we are deeply ready for, albeit unawares. Maybe we are being urged to realign ourselves to become a new mind and heart set.

Maybe there are lessons embedded in depression and despair. Maybe as we stumble and fall as we try to yank ourselves out of such deep darkness, we develop such gems as humility, patience, an open heart, deeper connection to the suffering of others, and a more profound respect before the mysteries of life.

Indeed, in contrast to our teeny, selfish egos’ desires to “have it all” and to “always be happy”, there might be great luminosity and purpose in very difficult times.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

(1) I find it very curious that most of the books and articles about the power of Intention present almost exclusively the positive side. I have yet to read any specific connection between Intention and some of the greatest masters of our time in that skill: Al-Qaeda.