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Respectful parenting can change our world

I like to imagine a world in which every human being is treated with respect, kindness, and unconditional love. I believe that our world is shifting in a way that this dream of mine can become reality. I think we are ready to shift our relationships with other people so that the emptiness that many of us feel will transform into deeper connections.

When my children were born 11 years ago (I have twins), I thought that I would parent them in the same way that I saw many other people parenting their children. And, in fact, the same way I was parented. I soon came to realize that this way didn't feel right in my heart. I wanted to follow my intuition and really listen to what my children needed. When I trusted, things went smoothly. When I didn't trust, and instead, listened to an "expert", or resorted to my own conditioning, things didn't work so well.

It is amazing to have the relationship that I have with my children. I believe it is possible for every parent to have an amazing relationship with their children. It is so much simpler than we are led to believe. When we are able to step back and ask ourselves if we are treating our children with the same respect that we ask of them, our parenting relationships can begin to heal. When we are able to follow the love in our hearts instead of following the fear of "messing up our kids", or of what others may think of us, our world changes for the better.

There is a growing number of parents who are helping to heal our world by parenting their children in a mindful, respectful way. When children grow up with complete trust and respect, they treat others the same way. This has the potential to heal our world. I think people are ready. I think we have reached the place where we want to experience our relationships with each other in a deeper, more respectful, connected way. It is time to slow down and just be with each other. Our children deserve this respect so that they can feel it deep within themselves. They can feel what is their birthright- to feel joy and respect, and deeply loved for exactly who they are.

I realize that each generation is different, and that we all learn as we go. However, the need for love and respect is always there, especially in children. It is a basic need that we are all born with. We can always choose to make a different choice than the way we grew up. When my husband and I decided to parent differently than the way we were raised, it was not easy at first. We still fall into patterns that were ingrained in us. If we make mistakes, we apologize to our kids. We tell them exactly why we said what we said, and apologize, just like we would do to our friends, or to each other. They understand that we are learning too.

Respect them, and they respect us. Respect them and they respect others. Respect them, and they respect the world around them.

If you would like to read more about mindful parenting and other similar topics, you can visit me here: www.benurtured.com

Comments (3)

I really enjoyed your sentiments about parenting. I've felt (and sometimes caved into) the pressure to "demand" respect from my children. But many times that just feels more like bullying. That's not the behavior I want them to mirror and that's certainly not how I want them to remember me.

I want to raise thinking children who've learned how to make good decisions.

See you at benurtured.com!

posted by parentliving on 2/20/2009 11:42 pm

Thank you for your comment. It isn't easy changing the patterns that we were conditioned with, but it is so worth it! Some days I can't believe the relationship I have with my kids. I never thought it would be possible. It really takes a paradigm shift. And it takes alot of patience with ourselves. My mantra is be Gentle With Yourself! I hope to talk to you on my website. Please feel free to comment or send an e-mail on my site. I love hearing from other parents.

posted by joyfulparent on 2/23/2009 10:39 pm

What a wonderful article. I am a 60 year old parent of two, aged 20 and 7, and I have never felt more blessed then in my role as a parent.

I agree 100% with your sentiments and ideas that children, of all ages, need to be first respected as the people they are. Each and every child deserves all the respect that we can assume any other person you come into contact with in your daily life.

I feel it is a gift to be parenting and what a joy it is when you treat children as if they are the unique individuals they truly are. I relish the education I receive when I take the time to listen to what my children, as well as the other children I come into contact with, have to share with me.

I am here as an adult to support and protect until such time that they are able to take on that task for themselves. Until that time I say we should 'give them wings' and teach them to fly.

posted by givethemwings on 2/24/2009 12:01 pm

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