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Finding happiness through simplicity
I believe in a beautiful and useful policy. Meaning, a thing has to be either beautiful or useful, if it is none of these then I just throw it away. Ten times out of ten I have discovered that I never regret trashing them.
The trash in our life includes old clothes, old utensils, old cosmetics, old electronics which do not work, old shoes that hurt and bite, old towels that scratch more than absorb the dampness of our body, tennis balls that have lost their bounce, golf balls with dings, rusty tools, rusty relationships, rusty emotions, old angers, old hostilities, old newspapers, old lovers who still hurt, negative emotions and ghosts of boyfriends/girlfriends past. Yep, all in the same breath.
Create space. Clean up the clutter. Throw the junk. Just do it.
Most of the time we cling to certain things and people due to our inherent reluctance to let go of things easily, due to our fear of having regrets and also due to some sentimental reasons. That old pair of mismatched socks kept in hope of finding the other pair someday during one of those spring cleanings, never actually meets its mate. Or that faded t-shirt that we never wear but can't let go because it has some sentimental value; all these add clutter to our spaces.
The junks in our lives are not just the old newspapers, broken toys, non-working tools and potato peels.
One of the biggest clutterers in our lives are negative emotions like hopelessness, depression, rancor, pessimism and unwholesome relationships and they are mostly interconnected.
That old toothbrush left by your ex-live in partner is adding to your misery without you knowing it. Every morning when you wake up to brush your teeth, you look at that toothbrush and are filled with remorse and sadness because you loved him/her once. Well, the relationship was good as long as it lasted, but now it is as frayed at the edges as the toothbrush he/she left behind. Throw it away; it is neither beautiful, nor useful!
Clinging to non working relationships causes another kind of clutter. We are all guilty of holding on to bad and dysfunctional relationships at some point or the other, in hopes of changing the person one day. It doesn't happen and we make ourselves unhappier, day-by-day. This sort of relationship is clutter.
Then there are some unwholesome social contacts that sap our energy, add no value to our life and often draw out the worst in us. The term ‘bad vibes' that we so often use in our vocabulary to describe someone's presence are a fact and not just a fancy expression. There are subtle changes in the atmosphere and we feel it in our own bodies when such elements are around. We subconsciously compress our lips, clench our fists and become tense. Such interactions are like a leech sucking our emotional blood, and they leave us feeling depleted.
There is no law that says you have to give time and energy to people you don't like, or who aren't good for you. You don't have to be rude, but be clear and honest with these people.
By junking such contacts we create harmony in our lives.
Sometimes it happens that even people we care about can clutter our life with their needs, problems and expectations. If there are friends and loved ones who clutter your emotional space so that you feel you don't have enough time and energy left to pursue other things you wish to do, or if you are unable to have enough alone time due to their constant company then please set limits. For yourself and them. Focus on quality than quantity, and explain to them nicely that you need some time to yourself.
Another way to declutter our lives regards our expenses. If we decide to cut down our unnecessary (though it never feels unnecessary when we are indulging ourselves) expenses we make our living much easier and peaceful. One of the golden rules is to never use a credit card unless it belongs to your billionaire boyfriend, who owns a private yacht and an island, and has gifted his unlimited access credit card to you!
Otherwise most of the time you end up paying heavy interests on the outstanding balance, sometimes until you are ninety-five.
A simple way to de-clutter your life is to take walks. Sounds funny? No, actually it is a great mantra. If I have to write the benefits of walking I will be writing another article but in simple words just know that it is the easiest, cheapest and most effective exercise to stay healthy in body and peaceful in mind. No sweaty, germ infested, crowded gyms that punch holes in your pocket and set you back every month by several precious dollars.
Apart from this, walking actually boosts your creative and intellectual capacities and helps you clear the clutter of jumbled thoughts in your mind, which no gym can provide.
It is never too late to make some positive changes in our old patterns. Life has a tendency to pile upon us and bog us down, if we do not learn to simplify, de clutter, downsize, create space, and throw the junk away.
The more you clear the clutter from your life the simpler you make it, and the simpler your life is, the happier you are!
Let's lead a beautiful and useful life. Let's live afresh and love again.
Image via Flickr user Rickydavid under Creative Commons license.
I couldn't agree with you more. I routinely do away with items that are no longer serving me, and adhere to the policy my sister taught me a long time age: If I buy a pair of Black pants, I donate a pair of black pants, If I didn't wear that bathing suit this season, am I really going to wear it next season? If it's two sizes too small, should I really cling to it, holding out for the time when it might fit? or could someone else use it in the mean time? After all, part of losing the excess is the reward of feeling less bogged down right?Excess stuff in my home, in my car and on my shelves clutters my mind at least at much, and releasing it, letting go, is an exercise in trusting, period. Plus, it allows for a feeling of accomplishment that can sometimes go unparalleled.
The most important topic of which you speak here, is I believe the most difficult: allowing yourself to discard relationships that simply don't serve your well-being. They take up space in your heart center and your gut, that could be better filled with genuine relationships, and conversations and relations. The reasons we hold on to them are no different from the material ones: Sentimentality, guilt, "what everyone else might think", and generally "rocking the boat". We sit by and allow others to insult and degrade sometimes, in the name of, "turning the other cheek", as my husband says, "taking the High road" or as my mother often said "Being the bigger person." Well, I'm here to tell you, when you turn the other cheek, all you get is two slapped cheeks, and the second smarts more than the first.When you take the high road or be the bigger person, you invite more of the same behavior, because you never set barricade on your high road, and the bigger person is no bigger when he allows others to treat him with disrespect. People who allow themselves to be disrespected, don't feel they are worth respecting. What you Accept, after all is what You teach.
Finding a way to be clear and honest, while gaining respect at the same time, is a challenge and won't always require the same approach.
I look forward to reading more of what you have to say, and I l;eave you with words of My mother, who married a pack rat: "Every Day, throw Something away."
posted by booksaboutpeace on 9/11/2009 9:14 am