The Inner Work of Peace

Many years ago, my life reached something of a drastic crossroads. My then husband and I had a son who died the day he was born, and we had some life-changing choices to make. The paths that we’d thought were going to be ours, it turned out, weren’t to be ours at all. We decided, in those inexpensive gasoline days, to take a drive. We found the vista of the open sea at the beach near our home relaxing and insightful. Our little red Subaru seemed to know it; she took us right there.

We’d been wandering around various options for our future for nearly a year, and we knew that some of our best conversations happened in the car. There were few distractions, and the act of driving (his) and navigating (mine) kept our conscious minds busy and entertained so we found that we often gained access to a higher wisdom. I’ve never forgotten what he asked me that day:

“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”

I knew immediately. Actually, it felt faster than immediate. I knew my answer before he finished asking the question. Fear fell away. The decisions we made that day in the car began the true paths for both of us. We walk those same paths today, almost 20 years later.

This month I read a remarkable book, When Fear Falls Away: The Story of a Sudden Awakening, by Jan Frazier. (www.whenfearfallsaway.com) She writes of an ordinary life filled with worries, doubts, fears, and all the other vicissitudes many of us have come to associate with the human condition. Facing yet another mammogram, and terrified because of her past experiences with breast cancer scares, she prays a simple prayer.

“Could I maybe do this tomorrow without being terrified?”

She goes to have the test the next day and is not only not afraid before, during or after the test, she is released from fear permanently. That bears saying again: She is released from fear permanently. The rest of her delicious, surprising, bright prose describes how she integrates the experience of enlightenment a.k.a. the falling away of fear a.k.a. peace.

One of the points that struck me so hard that I had to put the book down for a day was that it is needful that we allow ourselves to long for enlightenment/fearlessness. The first step is longing. We get to let ourselves want it.

One way to do that is to ask yourself the question my now ex-husband (and best friend) asked me so long ago on the beach: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

I truly believe that this is the spiritual practice, the inner work for each soul, that is requisite for making peace a reality on our planet. Part of the process of creating peace has to be to let fear fall away. Run to your local bookstore or visit the Amazonians and release yourself into Jan Frazier’s promising story.

The coolest part about Jan’s story: Enlightenment/fearlessness/peace is a choice we all get to make whenever it dawns on us that there is one.